This would be you at your best if it weren't for the flat ending.

Indeed, to borrow from *carissima82's phraseology, this could use a breast lift.

Hmm well, I didn't like the commas at the end. And the first two couplets sound intriguing in a way but only slightly - it's too listy for my taste. I prefer you letting me know the why or the consequences... But here you're just listing (facts/perceptions). The middle part I liked a lot, from the crystal castle to the peace. Because it's more open, more revealing of the actual sentiment you're portraying. But then, the ending ruined it a bit; partly because of the commas, and partly because you only gave the one word - and while I still get what you mean, you didn't really lead up to it in any way at all, so the beauty of the process was lost to me. Know what I mean?
Shells do have amazing sounds, though. And with that middle part, you brought out something important in them.

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+ thehungersite.com

posted on my birthday, not too great of a gift though but ill have a closer read

quite a magical ride which i really liked
everything is under the sea and it sends such beautiful images

you can do without the last line, but otherwise a change from the more... blunt poems? my vocab is running low due to exams. but it is a lot calmer than your other pieces as of late
always love your stuff

i'm lost. totally lost. i would ask for directions but i have a penis and therefore can't.

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Escape from the sticks!

Treefingerer - a highly recommended writer, also from the sticks

i thought the first two bits were awesome.

i don't think this is mediocre, but the end could use a breast lift.

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when she walked, her knees cracked like a pick-up truck driving full-force over a deer carcass.
~stupidvagina

i find myself agreeing with brooke a lot lately. the end sucks. the poem is mediocre.

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A picture, like a human, will speak a thousand words, and never say a goddamn thing.

the ending was the best part
(leveling the playing field with pieces)

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iphARTyou

uh, not your best, or your worst but

the ending

   sucks

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deviant art will ban you for being mean.